Comments for iamnotachef.com

Comment on Bar Etiquette by prometheus

prometheus — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 15:50:55 +0000

#7: Don’t sit at the bar while pretending to read a book or making entries in your oh-so-precious “life journal”. This isn’t Eat Pray Love. You are wasting a stool and ruining the atmosphere with your pretentiousness. Go to Starbuck’s and write your shitty poetry there.

FYI: this only occurs in big city bars.

Comment on Roast Turkey — Big Deal! by prometheus

prometheus — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 04:46:04 +0000

IANAC has some Amway detergent in his car trunk that he would like to sell you…but after that he is moving on from “product flow” into “management”.

At any rate, I have recently discovered a nice “trick”: when flying: if you fold your coat and put it in the overhead bin, it will be less wrinkled than if you try to stuff it into that small pocket on the seat-back in front of you. Anyway, I thought it was a nice piece of advice.

So I opened a fortune cookie the other day and it said “A little birdie is going to tell you a secret”. Nice. But, unfortunately, secrets that have since been imparted to me by large, terrifying birds hatched in the center of the Sun have since rendered that information irrelevant.

Comment on Musings On The Gin & Tonic by prometheus

prometheus — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 04:26:18 +0000

Alabama: you are truly as vapid as your name. I gave you the perfect cumin-free dry rub, and in response you caterwaul like a longtail cat in room full of rocking chairs.

So, I will leave you with this. The recently discovered, tree-dwelling “Delicacy Ape” of Borneo has a gulnar throst sac that when fully inflated can emit a howl that is heard for up to 2 miles. The throat sac is excellent when stuffed with dried fruits and nuts and roasted at 350 degrees for 2 hours.

I would bet that, if you were a cowboy dragging some guy behind your horse, and you looked back and saw he was reading a magazine, you’d be really angry.

Comment on Roast Turkey — Big Deal! by Alabama Worley

Alabama Worley — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 04:25:58 +0000

So where do you purchase your turkey? Rumor has it there is a chicken/duck farm in your state. Would you kindly post its exact location? And do they raise turkeys?

Comment on Musings On The Gin & Tonic by iamnotachef

iamnotachef — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 04:24:23 +0000

Prometheus, are you wearing a mask and saying, “mommy?”

Comment on Musings On The Gin & Tonic by Alabama Worley

Alabama Worley — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 04:13:30 +0000

Excuse me but what does this have to do with gin?

Comment on Musings On The Gin & Tonic by prometheus

prometheus — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 04:12:10 +0000

A man once asked me “what is the most important part of your body?” I responded “My brain!”. He said “Very good…but just remember which part of your body is telling you this!”.

Then I made lively dry rub that consisted of cayenne, cumin, pepper, salt, cumin, paprika, brown sugar, cumin. and some other things I don’t want to talk about right now.

Comment on Roast Turkey — Big Deal! by iamnotachef

iamnotachef — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 04:06:36 +0000

And now I will bow out of this discussion. It’s too intellectual for me.

Comment on Roast Turkey — Big Deal! by Alabama Worley

Alabama Worley — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 04:05:39 +0000

As for Prometheus, no, I do not work at a turkey farm. But I know what it takes to be a patriot.

Comment on Roast Turkey — Big Deal! by Alabama Worley

Alabama Worley — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 04:00:15 +0000

I will come for leftovers the day after Thanksgiving. If you invite me, of course.